


Dubious Distinctions

by trascendenza



Category: Psych, Wonderfalls
Genre: Character of Color, M/M, my holiday project 2009
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-20
Updated: 2009-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-11 10:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/111348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trascendenza/pseuds/trascendenza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>"Baby, trust me," Mahandra said, "he's proof that it's not a privilege."</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Dubious Distinctions

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [melodyunity](http://trascendenza.dreamwidth.org/16629.html#melodyunity).

"...and he's saying that he witnessed a very heated conversation between Tall Guy and Bartender Girl over here--"

"Oh, _shut up_," Jaye said, rolling her eyes. "That frog isn't talking to you."

"And how would you know?" Shawn said, glaring at her. He sighed. "Great, now my flow is all blocked. Thanks a lot. Do you know how hard it is to dial up a good connection to the other side? I'm not a spiritual cell phone you can just add minutes to whenever you want."

"Then why do your cards say 'Shawn Spencer, Spiritual Cellphone' on them?" Gus asked, taking a sip of his diet coke.

"Gus!" Shawn hissed, nudging him. "Not helping."

"I already know you're full of crap," Jaye said, pouring herself another shot.

"I think you're all full of crap," Mahandra said, and she didn't bother with a shot, she just drank straight from the bottle.

"Wait," Aaron said, blinking at Shawn. "Are you saying that they talk to you, too?"

"Of course they talk to me," Shawn said, even though he had no idea who 'they' were.

Aaron frowned, leaning his head on Mahandra's shoulder, looking at her plaintively. "They'll talk to this guy and not me?"

"Baby, trust me," Mahandra said, "he's proof that it's not a privilege."

"Besides," Jaye said, smiling at Shawn insincerely, "they don't talk to this faker."

"Yes, they do."

"Um, no. They don't."

"Um, _yes._ They do."

"Children!" Mahandra said, waving her hands. "God. Cut it out. Let's settle this like adults."

"What are you proposing?" Shawn said, intrigued.

"Fight to the death?" Aaron suggested.

"Spelling bee?" Gus said. They all looked at him like his suggestion was somehow even weirder than "fight to the death."

"What?" Gus said, scoffing. "You're all just jealous 'cause I'd win."

"Lick off!" Sharon said, raising briefly from her passed-out stupor with one wavering finger pointed in the air. She stayed that way just long enough to see the vaguely nauseated expression on Jaye's face, and collapsed again, cackling.

"Uh-uh." Mahandra shook her head. She leaned down, pulling out four bottles -- mad bartender skills, she had them -- of various stripes of hard liquor. "Drinking contest."

Gus' brow furrowed. "So whoever _doesn't_ pass out first gets the dubious distinction of being the one that anthropomorphized stuffed animals communicate obscure and unhelpful messages to?"

"Sounds good to me!" Shawn said, offering up his glass.

"You're going down," Jaye promised, putting hers out.

"Gus," Shawn said, nudging him. "Say 'may the frog be with you.'"

"I'm not saying that, Shawn."

"Just do it!"

"I'm not --"

"Just this once, Gus, would you just be with me on this --"

"That stupid frog isn't talking to _anyone_, Shawn, least of all you --"

"Gus!"

Gus sighed, heavily. "May the frog be with you," he said to Shawn, flatly.

Shawn beamed, clinked his shot glass with Jaye's, and the battle commenced.

*

"Great." Gus said, toeing Shawn with the tip of his puma. "Now I gotta drag his passed-out ass to the car." Shawn was spread on the floor on his back, limbs splayed everywhere, a smile plastered on his face.

"I'll help!" Aaron volunteered.

"His powers aren't going to rub off on you, Aaron!" Mahandra called from the back where she was grabbing more bottles.

"Don't be silly!" Aaron called back, but he promptly stopped sliding his ankle along Shawn's side.

Gus' nose wrinkled. "I'll take him myself."

"Get him drunk," Jaye murmured in her sleep, curling up tighter into a ball on the floor beside Shawn. "Get him drunk."

"Mission accomplished," Gus sighed, heaving Shawn over his shoulder with a cry bordering on weeping.

*

"Mmm, Gus," Shawn murmured in his half-asleep state, curling up around Gus with a stream of affectionate babble. At first, Gus blinked widely, eyes boggling, but after a few minutes, he shrugged and shifted his arm so Shawn could snuggle in closer.


End file.
